It was May of 2026. I was graciously invited to participate in a golfing event with our church including pastors and members from many churches. I grew up on a golf course for most of my upbringing. The smell of the fresh cut grass, the serenity of the quiet, and the occasional exclamation after a, shall I say, less than desirable outcome from a golf shot lured me in every summer.
As the round started, these "less than desirable outcomes" occurred. The round continued. The less than desirable shots morphed into "severely less than desirable shots." Shot after shot, the hosel of the golf club continued to find its way to the ball like a moth drawn to the flame.
In all of my golf playing days, my recollection of rounds can not find a round more demoralising, embarrassing, and humiliating than what transpired. I had desecrated my own golf clubs ever so severely, I could feel their disappointment in the space between myself and the clubs.
However, as I reflected on my game after the round, I thought to myself, "I am never letting that happen again." This was rock-bottom. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes hitting rock-bottom to start traversing a new path. Because of this, I went home that day and began teaching myself how to properly swing the club. In all my years of playing golf, I never slowed down enough to actually learn the fundamental movements in a swing.
As I practiced every night, certain thoughts reverberated in my head. Thoughts such as, "Am I sure I can change this", "My swing isn't that bad, maybe I can keep my old swing so I don't have to change", and "What if I practice every day and I can't make the change?"
Point is, many of us think in this manner when working towards change. It's an arduous and unnatural process. We are asking our bodies, or minds, and our souls to course correct quickly, whatever the change we are attempting to implement. Simultaneously, we are equally unmerciful and ungracious towards ourselves as we attempt to make this change. We beat ourselves up for our natural, yet ineffective golf swing and blame ourselves when the change doesn't occur within our expected timeframe.
I encourage you, after reading this, to practice grace and compassion towards yourself. Change is hard. It requires discipline and practice, which often requires imperfection. Change is also a clanky process. I implore you, don't make it more intolerable by belligerently berating yourself. You are learning a new golf swing. Give yourself time to change and practice patience.